a message from Queenie

Hi folks, I have google alert set to my name and saw it come up a few times on BigSoccer typically I don't look to see what's going on but this time because it popped up so frequently on this site I thought I'd check it out.

Many thanks to Cliveworshipper and UPPRV for all your love and support of my former abilities. You truly have no idea how much that means to me. Three years later it's nice to know there are still people who appreciate real futbol. In my opinion since the late 90's we've moved further and further away from true futbol and have totally Americanized the sport by taking away the razzle dazzle shake and bake and making it a competition of strength, size, and speed. That to me is not futbol, that's merely a wrestling match. And I think we all know wrestling is not my forte. If you want to see real futbol, stand in line at Merlo Field and never sit in your seat, and you will see the magic Clive planted long before we became National Champions.

So to clarify...was I ever really given a chance?! I think it was HALF a chance, I consider it more of a courtesy than a chance. However, it was up to me to make the best of that half chance and to be honest my heart just wasn't in it the way it needed to be to continue to compete at that level. When Clived passed away so did a portion of my fire, spark and passion for the game. I called him endless times while at camp to light my fire just a bit, to rejuvenate my broken spirits and it kept me going. He made me believe that we were on our way towards real futbol, the kind I was recruited for. He told me in his office, "There is no way by the time you graduate here you shouldn't be playing for the WNT..." and I believed in him because he believed in me! I believe if those coaches were lookin for futbol they were lookin in the right place when they invited me in, they just needed to invest a little more time in helping me to catch the change of pace. Even when I came to UP I struggled to adjust with the pace but once I was adjusted I faired pretty well. I think the same would've been true with the WNT but they were all about short term gratification...and unfortunately I am about long term gratification.

Yes, it is true they called me back in Feb but good Lord I hadn't touched a ball since the previous May. I could've kept training and hoping that I would get called back if that was my true goal, but as my article in the Portland Magazine and Oregonian stated the field for me had changed from soccer to career. I really started thinking about what I thought my purpose here was (the search for the unanswerables began) and I felt that my faith and purpose were pushing me toward sharing my gifts in a very different way, helping kids, moms, dad, families. I thought about my desire to get married, have a family, be young and energetic and an inspiration for anyone who ever needed one. I thought about what Clive's saying, "Tomorrow is promised to No one" and I thought heck I ought to start doing something that's really going to help people. Don't get me wrong I think being a positive female athlete/role model is also a blessing, just for me I wanted to have that effect in a bit of a more emotional and more intimate way. Leaving soccer was certainly a tough thing for me but when you ground yourself in just your sport you lose your entire identity when you walk away and that's why all these big time athletes come out of retirement so often, the sport defines them and I don't want to be defined by anything but ME. I want a balanced life.

For me not knowing if you'll be with the team from one month to the next, having to pack up with only two weeks notice for an international trip, being out of the country for weeks at a time, living in hotels (no matter how many stars they do or don't receive) is just not appealing. I like stability, and for many years that's something I haven't had. I've made many sacrifices in my life to compete and now I believe it's time for me to remember all that I gained from those sacrifices and challenge myself in new endeavors.

I am happy to report that I am married (my ceremony for friends and family is in December) and work as a Service Coordinator for the Regional Center of Orange County (helping developmentally delayed kids receive services) and a Marriage and Family Therapy Trainee. My life is BUSY, but it's a busyness that I wouldn't trade because the payoff is priceless. Upon completed my Masters next Spring I will hopefully be a lil less busy with the daily grind and find more time to just unwind!

Thanks again for all the love you have showed! I will be in Portland for the UCLA match Labor Day weekend, broadcasting from the sidelines. They can't push me totally outta the game

Auto Pilot wrote:No need to reiterate what you and Lindsay have said, suffice to say I agree completely. The WNT already has Tobin Heath on the squad who in my opinion is the US Marta. Add Angie and Tina Dimartino and Casey Noguerai in the future and I think we could have some real sizzle. The bruiser teams would have no one to lean on because they would never get close enough to the player or the ball. Lets hope

Auto Pilot wrote:

After listening to Garrett's podcast and his comment about the whole team playing with a defensive mindset I think he wants the rest of the team to help out with D. Forwards are expected to score but when they play pressure defense up top good things happen.